Freethinker slogans
From FreeThoughtPedia
(Redirected from Funny atheist sayings)
Here's a nifty list of funny bumper stickers, aphorisms or atheist slogans about religion
- No Jesus? Know Peace. Know Jesus? No Peace.
- Darwin loves you!
- Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
- Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers
- Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole
- Don’t pray in my school, and I won’t think in your church.
- Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry
- Thank God I'm an Atheist.
- Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.
- There's A REASON Why Atheists Don't Fly Planes Into Buildings
- If you think god is your co-pilot, try letting him land the plane.
- "Worship Me or I Will Torture You Forever. Have a Nice Day." God.
- If Jesus is inside me, I hope he likes fajitas ’cause that’s what he’s getting!
- Gods Don't Kill People. People Who Believe in God Kill People.
- If There is No God, Then What Makes the Next Kleenex Pop Up?
- He's Dead. It's Been 2,000 years. He's Not Coming Back. Get OVER It Already!
- All religion is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry - Edgar Allan Poe.
- Viva La Evolución!
- Praying is begging
- Actually, If You Look It Up, The Winter Solstice Is The Reason For The Season
- I Wouldn't Trust Your God Even If He Did Exist
- Cheeses Is Lard. Argue With THAT If You Can.
- Cheeses Dried Foyer Shins. Praise the Lard.
- The difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate controlled.
- People Who Don't Want Their Beliefs Laughed at Shouldn't Have Such Funny Beliefs
- Jesus is Coming? Don't Swallow That.
- Threatening Children With Hell Is FUN!
- GOD - APPLY DIRECTLY TO FOREHEAD!
- Jesus Told Me Republicans SUCK
- God + Whacky Tobacky = Platypus
- God Doesn't Exist. So, I Guess That Means No One Loves You.
- When the Rapture Comes, We'll Get Our Country Back!
- Q. How Do We Know the Holy Ghost Was Catholic? A. He Used the Rhythm Method Instead of a Condom.
- You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing
- And God said unto His followers, ‘Get on your knees and prey.’
- Creationism: Holy Shit!
- I Love Christians. They Taste Like Chicken.
- How many prophets does does it take to make a profit?
- Science: It Works, Bitches.
- "Intelligent Design" Helping Stupid People Feel Smart Since 1987
- I Found God Between The Sheets
- I Gave Up Superstitious Mumbo Jumbo For Lent
- My Flying Monkey Can Beat Up Your Guardian Angel
- Every Time You Play With Yourself, God Kills a Kitten
- If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?
- Praying Is Politically Correct Schizophrenia
- ALL Americans Are African Americans
- I Forget - Which Day Did God Make All The Fossils?
- I Was An Atheist Until The Hindus Convinced Me That I Was God
- The Spanish Inquisition: The Original Faith-based Initiative
- If we were made in his image, then why aren't humans invisible too?
- JESUS SAVES....You From Thinking For Yourself
- How Can You Disbelieve Evolution If You Can't Even Define It?
- Q. How Can You Tell That Your God is Man-made? A. If He Hates All the Same People You Do.
- Every Time You See a Rainbow, God is Having Gay Sex
- I Went to Public School in Kansas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt and a Poor Understanding of the Scientific Method.
- WWJD = We Won. Jesus Died.
- WWJD = Who Would Jesus Date?
- WWJD = What Would Jesus Drive?
- WWJD = What Would Jesus Drink?
- Religion requires faith, science requires thinking.
- "Lighthouses are more useful than churches." Ben Franklin
- "The nearest I can make of it, Love your enemies means hate your friends." Ben Franklin
- "The way to see by Faith, is to shut the eye of Reason." Ben Franklin
- "If man is this evil with religion, then what would he be like without?" Ben Franklin
- Religion: the original pyramid scheme.
- The Family That Prays Together is Brainwashing the Children
- Oh, Look, Honey Another Pro-lifer For War
- Another Godless Atheist for Peace and World Harmony
- God is Unavailable Right Now. Can I Help You?
- When Lip Service to Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality on Wednesday and Absolution on Sundays, Cash Me Out. Frank Sinatra.
- No Gods. No Mullets.
- When you kill one man you’re a murderer, a bunch you’re a psycho, thousand and you’re a hero, millions you’re a conqueror and if you kill them all… you are God!
- Transubstantiation: Just say no to cannibalism.
- Anything God can’t do we can do better.
- Atheist: a man who sells his soul to get money to give to the needy; theist; one who takes from the needy to protect his soul.
- Jesus may love you but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
- Evangelical Agnostic: God? I don’t know and neither do you. God? I don’t care and neither should you.
- The clergy build castles in the sky; the religious live in them and the rest of us have to pay their rent.
- As an atheist, I condemn your religion, not you; now, do you condemn me?
- As an atheist, I am more compassionate than your God.
- Relax. We did not suffer before our births and we can't suffer when we're gone.
- I wouldn't send God to hell, if i could, but I would commit Him.
- If evil exists there is nothing that can be done about it, but if suffering is only caused by ignorance, then there is true hope.
- We think, therefore there is hope.
- Good does not require religion, but it is threatened by it.
- All religious extremism begins as religious moderation.
- Most religions preach tolerance until one of them gets the upper hand.
- A fool is guided by religion; the wise question it, and politicians abuse it.
- Faith is the refusal to see reality. Sanity is the insistence on reality.
- Believers made God in their image: violent and irrational.
- Jesus, save me from your followers.
- God was more than capable of judging people without help before you were born
- God hates you, and that's why he's letting you die.
- If people send each other to heaven/hell it is murder, but it is natural if God does it.
- I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Gandhi
- Have You Threatened Your Children With Eternal Damnation Today?
- Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.
- Christianity is to free inquiry what the Mafia is to free enterprise. -- George H. Smith
- A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.
- The bible is an elaborate chain-letter and you fell for it!
- I went to the Creation Museum and all I got was stupider
Science flys you into outer space. Religion flys you into office space.
Don't want to go to hell? Become an atheist.
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